We read despairing worldwide headlines on an almost hourly basis. We’ve heard of livelihoods and lives being lost and being stuck at home for over a year. There is a general dread of the most horrifying virus that through mutations may never come to an end.

It is reasonable to assume that our physical, emotional, and mental health has taken a massive toll recently. Given this context, the idea of ‘positive thinking’ is hard to sustain.

On the recent Rant and Grow podcast, I discussed the importance of having a positive attitude even in times of severe crises with Ryan Lowe, on the 10th anniversary of his book “Get Off Your Attitude”.

Ryan shared his mantra for staying positive even in disappointing times.

“Anytime I thought negative, acted negative or spoke negatively I said to myself ‘Ryan just get off your attitude. Keep moving forward. It became my slogan and it went on to become my message. ~ Ryan Lowe

It’s All about the Mindset

We play multiple roles in our lifetime. We are all bound to feel overwhelmed at times. The fear, bitterness, and stress of these roles can get a hold of us in the most destructive ways.

However, the influence of a positive outlook towards life can never go in vain at any given point. We all have in ourselves the ability to rise above our troubles and turn pain into power.

“Either we become a victim or become the victor, this is the truth no matter what our circumstances are.”

When we face losses and disappointments, we become negative and pessimistic, frustrated, anxious, and angry at the world and ourselves. It’s easy to lose hope on days when everything in our surroundings is quite literally in shambles.

It is essential to have a resilient mindset in such situations. Accepting that it will be intense and to realize that it will be a battle. It’s dread, tension, and pressure we can’t flee from. What is in our control is to acknowledge this and figure out how to react in the most pragmatic way.

That’s the thing. You must sit down for a moment and just really have faith that you can go through whatever life throws at you. You must develop a very strong mind to do so.

It doesn’t matter what we think, or we feel about a person or thing, it comes down to being helpful. It comes down to being focused and devoted and mindful about the decisions that we take and the daily routine that we are attempting to experience.

There are pay checks associated with the mindset we maintain. Having a victim mindset doesn’t do any good to either an individual or those who are dependent on them. Those with victim consciousness constantly blame others and aren’t willing to take up the responsibility of bettering their lives. Blaming is a cowardly way to dismiss being accountable to our own feelings and mastering our ego.

Stop Being A Victim

When an entire population gets affected by victim mindset thinking, circumstances are bad, there’s nothing we can do to change it and we fall prey to all its negativity. We’ve lived in this kind of reality since the pandemic began.

Ryan considers it to be extremely lucky that he had the motivation to get up and dare to write about his experiences and help millions of others like him. From a professional standpoint, he suggests everyone take steps slowly but surely.

“One day, at a time, we can accomplish any goal we set for ourselves. Tell yourself, ‘today, I will do one small task that will contribute toward the achievement of a life goal’. I will share that with everyone because we want to get out of that victim mindset.” ~ Ryan Lowe

It becomes imperative to escape the victim mentality. Even though it will require some investment and take time. When we find ourselves achieving something positive every day, our thought process and attitude change for the good. Our words reflect the positivity of our mind and we find ourselves hauling out of that victim attitude.

“We’re like computers who have stored a lot of junk over the years”, says Ryan. People may have faulty wiring in their beliefs that don’t allow them to consciously move towards a more positive mindset. Most of the faulty wiring is related to self-deprecating talk.

The way we talk about ourselves and to ourselves plays a role more important than what most people give it credit for. Negative self-talk stems from what you consider ‘failed’ attempts at something in your life, be it a familial or work problem.

“We have somehow programmed ourselves over the years to tell ourselves that we can’t go do something and therefore we act fully demotivated.”

What’s ironically worse is that this practice of self-deprecation has become so normalized. From our childhood, we think it’s normal for us to say that we can’t do something. What is considered humility by most is one of the biggest barriers that keep people from having a positive, hopeful, and constructive outlook towards life.

“Positive self-talk can change your mindset, change your direction, change your way of life. You start thinking about goals, instead of obstacles.”

Anytime we face a challenge or a setback or something like that, we get to figure out how we need to grow. The challenges that we face in life must be looked at through the lens of a learning experience and dealt with optimistically.

“When we shift our attitude by focusing on solutions rather than problems, real change starts to manifest itself in us and society.”

In my recent Rant & Grow podcast, I spend some time has Ryan Lowe as a guest. Ryan is a professional motivational keynote speaker, corporate trainer, executive coach, and the author of the book “Get off Your Attitude.” Fun fact, Ryan was featured in the movie, “The Big Short.” In this episode we explored how to develop and maintain a positive attitude.

Just click on the play button to listen to the podcast right here.

Getting real with yourself and the kind of person you are takes a lot of courage and determination.

It is not always easy to muster up the courage and the boldness to confront the reality about yourself. 

“Getting real takes a lot of guts and the ability to be powerfully vulnerable.”

When people do realize who they are and accept themselves in that way, they give themselves time and energy to realize their own potential to change their own life and by extension, change the world.

In my recent Rant & Grow podcast with Wayne Sutton, who is a coaches’ coach we took a look at how you can increase the chances of success in your life by getting real about your potential.

“It’s exponential what we can accomplish when we recognize that we can change our own life and help somebody else change theirs.”

How to Get Real with Yourself

When people realize what is going wrong with their lives and how they need to do something to change it completely, there is some sort of a bias or heuristic that they are confronted with.

It is a tiny voice in their head that says that you have always been this way and that you will never be able to change. That tiny voice your enemy.

When you realize what you have to change, you have to make sure that it is not your own mind and your own rationale that is holding you back.

When you listen to your own biases and just resign to your own narrative fate and let things take their course, you are giving yourself the idea that you are unable and unwilling to change in the first place.

“Free yourself from your own biases, they are what hold you back from growing, not other people.”

This is the kind of self-talk that is a manifestation of your ego running amuck: “Can I really go out there and do this? I don’t do well in this area.” This self-talk is a red flag warning code word for “I’m lazy and I don’t really want to do what it takes.”

Question Everything

From the moment you are born you are told and coached by other people in your life.

Other people tell you what to believe, what you have to do, what your limitations and faults are, what you are good at, what you should be good at and what you should aim to be in life.

“As an individual you need to realize who you want to believe and what you want to believe.”

You have to let your own thoughts and own rationale guide your life. That is when you start to take decisions by yourself and think on your own about what is right and what is not.

Wayne said in the Rant and Grow podcast “You have to question everything about your identity. Why you believe what you believe, and what really matters to you not Society.”

Admit Your Wrongs

Thinking for yourself can be dangerous if you aren’t paying attention to your ego. Ego is the enemy in most people’s lives. When you think that you are always right and that nothing you do is incorrect or wrong, you close yourself to growth and opportunity to learn.

It is only by accepting with humility your ability to be wrong that you can start to open up to the large world both outside and inside you and expose yourself to real growth.

When you realize that not everything you know is true and that it is not healthy for you to think that way, you get real about your potential to become a better person.

“It is recognized that you can be a great coach and still need a coach. You can be a great dad and still need lessons on how to be a dad. You can be a great whatever and still learn.” ~ Wayne Sutton

This is how you can give yourself the benefit of the doubt and start to realize your true potential in life. When you open yourself up to growing you really become ready to change, you finally realize who you are and what you are capable of.

It doesn’t matter what anyone says at that point because you have become independent of their thoughts.

In my recent Rant & Grow podcast, I spend some time with Wayne Sutton as a guest. Wayne is known as the Coach of Coaches! It took Wayne a while to find success. Seemingly stuck in jobs that were draining his soul, Wayne made a bold decision, and set out to create a better life for him and his family, and he is sharing how to do it with others. In this episode we explore how to be real about achieving your fullest potential.

Just click on the play button to listen to the podcast right here.

No pain no gain. We’ve all heard this saying and we’ve been sold on the idea that it is true.

Is it really true that you cannot achieve success without sacrifice?

This is something that most people go through in their lives without ever finding any answers on how to make success easier, and less painful.

Why? Because the narrative of self-sacrifice is pervasive in our society. The truth is that you can be successful without compromising your quality of life. A lot of people around the world struggle with this. 

Most people think that they have to give up something or make sacrifices in order to achieve success. There are a lot of people who ardently believe that and in turn, give up very important parts of their life for something that they think they want.

Are you one of those people? I most certainly was for many years, until I discovered otherwise. Here is how you can make sure that you enjoy all the most important parts of your life without having to ever give up on something that means a lot to you.

Let’s review some of the ways to be successful without having to sacrifice important aspects of your life

Gratification Does Not Require Validation

When you have an idea of what success is for yourself across all aspects of your life, you need to make sure that the idea you have is one best suited to you, not based on what someone else described is “the ideal successful life”.

“The idea of what success is, should naturally suit your needs and aspirations and not the needs and aspirations of your friends, family or society.”

Personal gratification that comes from success is greatly important. In fact, it is the only thing that you should look for.

My recent guest on the Rant & Grow podcast, Terry McDougall, a mom, an executive, a career coach and author of the book, “Winning the Game of Work: Career Happiness and Success on Your Own Terms.” remarked during our conversation:

“High achieving people are often addicted to external validation.”

Chasing validation is like chasing the wind, you’ll never catch it. You can feel it, you can hear it, you can see the effects of it, but you cannot hold on to it.

Set Boundaries

When you set personal and professional boundaries with your friends, family and colleagues, you make sure that you put yourself and your success first and everything else later.

This might sound selfish but it’s actually the only way you can truly care about others. You can’t give to your friends or family anything you don’t possess yourself. Taking care of you first is like putting on the oxygen mask on an airplane that lost cabin pressure first, before helping others.

As an example, you can make it a rule to not work over the weekends or not reply to work emails over the weekend and just have that time to yourself, dedicated to whatever you want.

“You don’t have to keep striving for the brass ring, in order to experience success.”

Make Biases Work for You

There are a lot of internal subconscious thoughts and conflicts inside us that do not let us achieve our fullest potential. Much more than the judgement of society or the people around you, the tiny negative self-loathing inner voice inside your head is responsible for most of the failures you have gone through in your life.

When you find a way to recognize the presence of the negative inner voice, make sure to not listen to it. Mastering this simple, yet most difficult step will empower you to work towards and achieve your goals to your fullest potential.

Shutting up that self-judging inner voice and preventing it from popping up whenever you’re trying to take time for yourself for example, will give you the strength to keep going ahead and achieve success without having to sacrifice anything.

We all live a life of three stories. We have the aspirational truth of what we aspire to be and who we sell ourselves to be to the public. Then there’s the lies we tell ourselves based on the masks we have to wear to hide the traumas we haven’t healed yet. Finally there is the truth of who we really are in the present.

“Living in your truth is the most liberating experience you will ever have. That kind of freedom is the ultimate success of life.”

Give Yourself Credit

Remember the little child who wanted to achieve everything in life, who didn’t know limitations or the concept of sacrifice? 

Give yourself credit for how far you’ve come since you were that child. You must give yourself credit for going through what you have gone through and still achieving what you already have.

After you acknowledge how much you’ve achieved and/or overcome, reawaken that inner child’s ability to dream and wonder. 

Start to see the world through the playful eyes of a child who knows nothing about sacrifice.

“Embrace your inner child and start to love it’s curious ability to pursue joy without the concept of sacrifice.”

It takes strength to validate yourself. Once you start doing that, there is nobody who can stop you. That’s when you will start rejecting validation from the outside world. It is then that you can truly focus on your success and make it in life without having to give up the good things.

“Have some empathy for yourself and love yourself and give yourself credit for getting you to where you are today.” ~ Terry McDougall

The key to achieving the best of yourself is self-awareness. The key to success is finding out as much as you can about yourself and spending time with yourself.

Everything is temporary, but your consciousness stays with you forever. Hence, honing that consciousness is the key to the success in every aspect of your life.

Once you get self-awareness going on for you, you won’t have to sacrifice everything that is beautiful in your life to achieve success.

In my recent Rant & Grow podcast, I spend some time with Terry Boyle McDougall. Terry was a long-time corporate marketing executive where she led teams, developed strategies and advised senior leaders to drive business results. She is the author of Winning the Game of Work: Career Happiness and Success on Your Own Terms. We explored how to be successful without sacrificing the quality of your life.

Just click on the play button to listen to the podcast right here.

Intuition can be described as something that helps one make decisions from instinctive feelings rather than conscious reasoning.

There are some people who have what is often referred to as an inner voice, that guides them about what to do and when to do it. That little voice is often right, and it is an art learning to listen to it and follow it.

Identifying that voice is a very difficult task and it is something that has to be refined and sharpened through years of practice.

There are many leaders who make decisions based on their critical reasoning even though their inner voice tells them to do something otherwise. However, they later come to regret those decisions because their intuition turns out to be right.

Is it possible to sharpen intuition so that we learn to trust it?

Yes. Here are some ways you can sharpen your intuition and make better decisions in your own life.

Negative vs Positive Signals

Intuition to many people seems to work in mysterious ways. The feelings from intuition arise in the amygdala, the primitive part of the brain. The feelings are different for every individual.

Hence, when intuition gets triggered with the amygdala, people’s fight or flight response gets triggered. Identifying whether these signals are negative or positive will have a huge impact on how things will work out. It’s best to identify the signals and always go with the positive flow. When the signals don’t seem clear, do nothing.

Take Inventory of the Signals

It is very important to take an inventory or a check of all the negative and positive signals that occur to you. The signals you are experiencing are something that you have to deal with.

If you fail to take into account the signals you are experiencing, they might not be there later when you need to make critical decisions. Hence, taking a proactive inventory of these signals as they occur can give you the ability to deal with them accordingly.

Asking yourself what am I feeling? What am I hearing? What do I need to do? Why am I experiencing the feelings I have? What am I afraid of? How can this help me? These questions will help you take full inventory of the signals that can sharpen your intuition.

Vibrational Alignment of People

Now that you have an inventory of the signals that you are registering, you need to make sure that you surround yourself with the right people and the right relationships that will help you grow.

You must surround yourself and your intuition in the environment that will best support you. To be effective in the process of choosing the right people in your life, you need to ask yourself questions like:

● Who am I and why am I here?

● Why have I become an entrepreneur, a teacher, a plumber, an executive, a janitor, etc.?

● Why am I this type of a person?

● Why am I moving in this direction and what am I trying to define my life to be?

After you are clear on who you are and want to be then you can have clarity of the people you should surround yourself with that align and vibrate the same signals as you.

It’s not about surrounding yourself with people who are similar to you in background, education, socio-economic status, and so on.

You want to surround yourself with people who you vibrate well with. People tuned into your signals.

“One of the keys to a sharpened intuition is to surround yourself with people who vibe well with you.”

The Opportunity Cost

When you begin to realize that not listening to your intuition is not only pushing you towards a bad decision, but it is also preventing you from realizing the benefits of a good decision, you will quickly recognize the opportunity cost that comes with ignoring it.

That is one of the main reasons why you should listen to your intuition, because when the fight and flight response of the amygdala kicks in, it works to protect you.

“That which protects you, cannot harm you.”

In the end, having a tuned-up intuition will help you make the right decision, carefully avoiding the repercussions of a wrong one.

Do Not Rationalize Everything

To sharpen your intuition and trust it more, you have to stop rationally analyzing everything. There is a difference between thinking something through and always relying on your own understanding.

There are some things that cannot be understood by the logical functions of our brains. The sooner we realize that the sooner we can move on to better things and better decisions.

Scientist have concurred that not everything can be traced back to a brain function that triggered them. The brain often works like a translation system for thoughts, triggering signals that cause us to take actions.

“Intuition is something that has to be carefully honed through practice and patience.”

Once seen to be the hocus pocus of religious and astrological spheres, it has now become one of the pioneering aspects of psychology and is being studied by top brain scientists around the world.

Intuition is a super consciousness function that is broadcasting all the time, by learning to tune into it, we become sharper in our decision-making abilities.

The importance of intuition is everlasting, and it is for our own benefit so that we can make the right decisions.

While making perfect decisions at the perfect time is not always possible, using your intuition and carefully refining it can facilitate the process to getting you as close to that stage as possible.

Fear, ego and rationalization are the three things that do not let you refine your intuition and use it in the best way possible. Hence, gaining a balanced control over all three will help you make the best decisions for yourself every single time.

In my recent Rant & Grow podcast, I spend some time with Sunil Godse, who spent thousands of hours on research and interviews to stop people from wasting time making bad decisions by sharpening their intuition, and came up with Intuitionology 7-Day Challenge.

Listen in as we talk about ways to sharpen our intuition in order to make better life decisions.

Just click on the play button to listen to the podcast right here.