We Need More Heroes

We Need More Heroes

by | May 14, 2019 | Uncategorized

Heroes can and have played a role in the development of your character from a tender age. We tend to look up to heroes as supreme examples of the greatness that is inherent in human beings. Heroes influence and shape the lives of everyone they touch. Sometimes a hero can be one of your own family members, such as a virtuous parent or sibling.

Other times a hero can be a celebrity, such as a famous sports figure who seems to defy the laws of gravity, or someone who uses fortune to do good in the world. Heroes can even come from fictional stories or movies, such as Superman, or Wonder Woman.

The function of a hero remains the same, regardless if the hero is real or fictional. That function is to provide you with the inspiration to overcome your adversities, and achieve what you know is right and good.

Super heroes exemplify great power, strength, courage, and ability. Beautiful heroes exemplify stunning physical beauty and alluring qualities. Genius heroes exemplify startling brilliance, foresight, and mind power.

The specific heroic traits that you admire are a personal choice. Having a hero is a natural, healthy part of conscious life, as long as you are free to choose your own hero, and that choice is made rationally.

Examples of childhood heroes are Batman and Robin, the Six Million Dollar Man, and Super Woman. Examples of adult heroes are James Bond, Michael Jordan, and Laura Croft. Having a hero or several heroes can be a source of inspiration, fun, and excitement.

Heroes can also have a positive impact on character development. You might strive to cultivate those traits or virtues that you most desire in a hero. 

The problem with looking to heroes for solutions is that it also supports an upside-down world within a command and control parading that exists both within a patriarchy or matriarchy. Meaning someone has the power to make things better, other than you.

Under the command and control way of doing things, every person on planet Earth lives within the closed boundaries of an upside-down world that enables nefarious behaviors, and keeps humanity co-dependent.

We live in a time where people are at odds with each other over beliefs, and standards of living. All sides looking for the hero to introduce change, and make us whole. Sadly, this is just the evolution of a command and control paradigm that instills co-dependence to someone on top, instead of interdependence based on equivalency.

The problem isn’t which political party you belong to, which religion you practice, the color of your skin, or your socio-economic status. The problem is the narrative that continuously tells us we need someone to save us. That’s religion’s narrative, and politics narrative too, both systems support command and control.

To achieve true equivalence and radical respect, an entire population shift needs to take place from today’s irrational “save me” way of being, to a rational world, where the only hero in the narrative is yourself.

We are already experiencing a worldwide shift from dependence to independence. More and more people are working on a freelance basis, and seeking ways to be their own source of income, instead of working for an organization. 

No one likes the command and control paradigm, except for those on the top, and I am pretty sure they are not happy either having to constantly be the hero everyone depends on. 

We need to evolve to loving interdependence based on equivalence. This will support the need for more human dignity between each other, and set us all free. That’s the path towards mutual radical respect.

Be the hero

Become your own hero. Does this sound like a radical idea? Maybe it is, but it is not mystical, and it’s not based on hoping someone else will do what’s necessary to make life better for yourself. So long as your thinking remains grounded in the facts of reality, you can be your own hero.

Yes, with a few simple techniques, you can esteem your own person as much or more than the super heroes.

To become your own hero you need accurate self-knowledge. By fully understanding yourself and knowing who you are, you are on an unshakable foundation. Doing an assessment of your character will reveal your positive and negative traits. By negative, I mean those traits you wish to improve or break free from.

In life coaching we use many tools to see what strengths and weaknesses someone seeking to gain new perspectives might have. To goal is to identify what to focus on to achieve the intended growth. For the sake of simplicity here is an easy way to do a self-assessment.

List your traits on paper and do a side-by-side comparison of both your strengths and weaknesses. You will see your character development up to this point in your life. You can see what traits you need to develop to strengthen your character. After you’ve done that, begin to identifying your core competence, and then develop a character development plan of the super hero you want to strive to become.

One way to be able to see into the future you is to imagine you went to sleep one night, and when you woke up you possessed all the skills, and characteristics of your perfect self. What would those skills and characteristics be? Write them down.

The importance of self-awareness enables you to choose the direction you want to grow toward. You can then predict how your character will evolve in the coming years, as you make attainable commitments to improve yourself.

Self-awareness coupled with a smart plan of accountable action, will allow you to shape yourself in the image of your ideal hero.

You can use your projected character development as your own hero. That hero is the future you. That hero can provide you as much or more inspiration as any other childhood or adult hero.

By projecting yourself as that future hero, you create a situation you control. You decide which traits you want to develop, and you create an image of yourself already possessing such traits.

That image, regardless how far into the future he or she might be, becomes your source of inspiration. That image becomes your hero. And that hero is you, albeit in the future.

By becoming your own hero, everything you do works toward your own success. You put yourself in firm control of your own personal growth and character development.

You are no longer an outer-directed person; you are inner-directed, self-aware, and centered on values that matter to you most. The combination of being in control of your own character development and being inner-directed leads to genuine self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-realization.

You become happy to be alive when you become your own hero, and you work for your own success. This day-to-day happiness is the fuel that will enable you to be free and to lead a fulfilling life. 

Can you imagine a world where everyone was working towards becoming a hero? Rather than being co-dependent on one hero, we would have an interdependent world of billions of heroes based on equivalence and radical mutual respect.

We Need More Human Dignity

We Need More Human Dignity

by | May 7, 2019 | Uncategorized

I often think about what is needing to address many of the issues we face in society as multi-dimensional. There are many movements in place. They are all very good, and needed initiatives. 

However, a lot of the ways many are addressing various societal problems are single-dimensional, and are not dealing with the root cause of the problems. 

Gender gaps, inclusion, diversity, equal pay, affirmative action, black lives matter, metoo, etc.. are all very important issues that need awareness, and action — however they are the outcomes of something rooted deeply in something bigger.

The root cause of all our problems is lack of human dignity.

I am passionate about bringing the Radical Manifesto to the world. To me Radicals is about the need to get to the root of not just our work problems in society, but how we relate to ourselves and each other as human beings. 

While in Russia, speaking at one of the top 5 universities, a young man, made a comment during the Q&A session following my Radical Cultures presentation. 

He said: “What you want to do is change the world — you are getting to the culture, how people live, and how societies and countries are operating. It’s a huge endeavor”. 

I replied: “Yes it is a mission to change the world for the better, but we are focused on one person at a time. Just one of you here in Siberia Russia can take these principles to heart, start a company, or become a leader in one, begin to apply these principles, and the change begins. Someone leaves your company, and brings the principles along to another company, and before you know it society has changed.” I continued by saying: “The change starts with you embodying human dignity in how you hold yourself as worthy, and extend the same to others.”

The even deeper root cause of all of our problems that are under the umbrella of “lack of human dignity”, is lack of self-worth. Lack of self-worth is a worldwide epidemic, a virus infecting all of humanity. It needs to be healed and that starts with the self. 

The trunk to everything that can be good in the world is human dignity, and the branches of the tree extends to work, school, family, community, society, and ultimately the world. The roots of the trunk need to be deep in a high self-worth foundation.

Being a Radical is about having a multi-dimensional positive impact on all our lives, by highlighting and having the courage to talk about ourselves, in an authentic, raw, and unapologetic way.

We humans carry so much shame from choices we may have made in our lives, related to relationships, work and career, education, choices in entertainment, because of a narrative that has not served humanity. The narrative of self-sacrifice, and selflessness, and doctrine.

We are not meant to be perfect, we are meant to be on an ongoing journey of self-discovery and learning. We need to start giving each other a break by not demonizing being human who screw up — often.

You can’t offer up to solve the problems of the world, without solving the source of the problems. Society is a reflection, a mirror of who we are inside. 

The violence in the world is nothing more than a resonance of the violence within ourselves.

The violence begins when we are at odds with our desires, and our actions. The violence begins within ourselves when we have difficulty being kind to ourselves and demand perfection. All conflicts within ourselves, amplify into chaos worldwide.

This isn’t some new age spiritual awakening, this is proven quantum science. You want to change the world? Start with the human in the mirror.

Acceptance

You can only extend to others what you value within yourself. If you embrace yourself even when you are out of sorts you’ll extend the same courtesy to others when they are in the same mode of being.

Conversely, when you accept yourself as a gift in the world, you will recognize the same gift in others. 

Whatever is external of you is a mirror of who you are within. 

It’s important to not avoid or mask our darkness. We need to learn to be ok with going deeper into the darkness to discover the source of it. We need to stop beating or judging ourself up for having darkness. You may have been chosen to play out the darkness so you could overcome it and create the frequency for others to tap into, in order to break free. Everything has a purpose, if we stay open to learning, instead of judging.

The way out of hell in life, is on the other side of it. The door is just past the point of no return, only those trusting that the door is within reach, can walk through fire and gain control over everything.

There are two ways to overcome challenges in life.

1) You work really hard to transform yourself, and to overcome the “not so good” traits; most of us end up simply suppressing who we are, but few do actually transform “some” aspects of themselves.

2) You accept yourself as you are, and you focus on becoming a being who bestows goodness in the world. 

The first route will have you chasing your tail for years, and has been the cause of depression, anger, resentment and all the chaos in the world for thousands of years. 

All the chaos in the world stems from lack of self respect, self love, self dignity, self honor, and lack of self acceptance.

It’s impossible to accept others as they are when we still have things we don’t accept about our selves. 

Think about that for a moment. Why do certain traits about others bother you? Because they remind you of traits about you that you don’t want to accept. How can you accept other people’s traits if you don’t accept yourself completely?

When you accept yourself for all of who you are, you can do the same for others, and you begin to experience life’s beauty in the imperfection.

Something amazing happens as you remove judgment from yourself, which causes internal violence, you remove it from the world. As judgment diminishes, so does chaos. Chaos is energized by judgment. Judgment powers up chaos, remove the judgment and chaos will cease to have any source of energy.

As an alternative to judgment you can try acceptance, acceptance shifts you into state of being where bliss is the normal mode of existence.

“Acceptance is being present without judgment.”

Love yourself

A good way to practice human dignity is with yourself. Give yourself a hug and say: “I am great just as I am, and I love me just as I am. I extend the same to everyone around me, and allow them to accept me as I am. I can now focus my energy on emanating the love I have for myself to the entire world, and allow the world to do the same in return”.

Most of the chaos that exists is due to hatred for no reason, but it all starts within. Why does judgment exist? Because of lack of self love, and self-worth.

“If we loved ourselves enough, just as we are, we would extend the same to the outside world and in turn activate the energy of mercy and love which knows no chaos.”

For millenniums we’ve been chasing our tails, going in circle feeling bad about our “character flaws”, which in some ways has kept us from achieving our greatest potential as humanity. Our lack of dignity towards one another is only a reflection of our own lack of self acceptance and self-worth.

It’s important to get in touch with our own inner ugliness. This is very important, but for no other reason than to recognize it, accept it, and find love for ourselves anyway. The less life we give judgements, the more they will dissipate within, and all over the world.

We often think free-will is about our ability to choose right from wrong. The natural order of things is bliss, order, harmony… that is the normal state of existence.

So why do we not experience it all the time?

How we choose to perceive ourselves, is how we experience the entire Universe.

The only free-will we have, is to choose to either accept everything with love or with judgment. Love allows us to come to peace with ourselves and extend the same to others. 

Human dignity is rooted in self-love, and high self-worth. What the world needs is more human dignity, and that starts with each and everyone of us doing our part in loving and fully accepting the human in the mirror.

The Elephant That Could

The Elephant That Could

by | Apr 30, 2019 | Uncategorized

A baby elephant was tied to a pole at the zoo. For years she tried to break free tugging at the pole by the rope tied around her neck. She tried and tried and could never break free. Many years later, she grew to be a very big and powerful elephant. She was still tied to the same pole.

She could break free of her bondage so easily now that she had become a big elephant, but her mind had been conditioned that she could not. She does not even try. Much like the elephant in this story, we have been conditioned for a very long time in a work culture that is based on commands and controls.

A work culture supported by an education system that was developed for the assembly line, industrial revolution. An educational system that subtly teaches subservience.

From a society’s view point, we have also been part of a narrative for thousands of years that encourages self-sacrifice, for the greater good, which is contrary to our nature as human beings. Do we have a lot stacked against us, or do we just have the baby elephant syndrome, and think we can’t break free?

I was in Russia last week. Specifically, in Siberia Russia and I met with Tomsk State University students to talk about Radical Cultures. We talked about freedom at work, self-managed teams, equivalence, and leaders versus bosses.

These young men and women were curious, and open, and had many questions. I had just finished talking about the sense of duplicity that is predominant in many people’s lives today. Having to be one way at the office, and another at home. We talked about how duplicity causes stress, and worse how it does not foster trust among people because it does not encourage authenticity.

Are you the same person at the office, as you are at home? Does your work environment dictate what you should wear at the office? Do you have to show up and leave at a certain time? Do you have to do things you don’t care to do, just to please your boss? Do you compete with your peers, or work as a team?

Today’s work environment based on command and controls, does not foster innovation, or creativity. Today’s work environment demands conformity. Work demands of you to stay tied to the pole and not try to break free.

Today’s work environment wants you to stay a baby elephant for the rest of your life.

Radical Cultures

I went on to explain how leaders earn followers because they are willing to serve, and they are willing to be of service.

What’s the difference between serving and being of service?

You can get paid to serve but being of service is a state of being that cannot be purchased. You enjoy being of service because it is part of who you are at your core.

True authentic leaders are of service, because they desire to serve — it is a calling.

The difference between a boss and a leader is that of control vs. freedom. One requires you conform to how things are done, the other encourages you to find better ways to do things, to create, to innovate.

Why would companies not embrace freedom?

Fear is the main reason. The other reason is that much like the elephant they just accept things for how they have been, instead of how things could be.

Some of the questions and comments these young men and women asked me were:

 — How do you make the change from a command and control to freedom-based company?

 — How can companies adopt this in countries that don’t encourage free societies?

 — This is one of those big, change the world ideas, how can it be implemented?

The questions left me feeling a sense of hope and excitement that these university students saw the value of what was being presented and started to wonder about how to implement it.

I answered every question truthfully and made myself available for follow up with any of the students. The comment made about “changing the world” stood out for me.

I looked at the young man in the eyes and said to him: It is someone like you, who will start a company, become the leader of one, and remember this presentation, and makes the change.

Then one of your people will do the same, and the trickled down effect of that will change a society, a country, and the world.

Some of us are on a mission to start this change, to spark it, to inspire it, with a Radical Movement to help organizations embrace freedom and equivalence.

My personal mission, as the author of the book “Emotionally Aware Leadership” is to stop the spread of a worldwide epidemic, the most pervasive disease that plagues all of humanity “low self-worth”.

Want to change the world?

You have to break free, even when you’ve been conditioned that you can’t. You can’t be a giant elephant and act like you are still a baby.

Video Clip from Tomsk State University Presentation

Living a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life Requires Purpose

Living a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life Requires Purpose

by | Apr 23, 2019 | Uncategorized

On September 11th, 2016 my third child Livia Grace entered the world to remind me of what truly matters in life. September has always been a special month to me, a month of new beginnings. While the 11th of September is filled with ill history, especially since I was there in NYC on that dreadful day and saw it all with my own eyes, the meaning on 9/11 changed for me many years later, when my daughter was born on that day.

I started my professional career on Sept 9th 1989. After a rather non stop career for 27 years, I decided to give myself some time to be totally present for the arrival of my new daughter by taking a long deserved and needed break. I enrolled at Cornell University to polish up some skills via a certificate program. One of the companies I took from Series A to Series B got acquired for close to $200MM, and that made it more financially feasible to take a break too.

Some could argue that this wasn’t much of a break, since I also went on to be the co-founder of a services company that ended up growing rather rapidly. I din’t go into any of my initiatives with any sense of urgency or stress. Taking a break to me, meant refocusing my energy and time towards more family time.

Taking this so call break paid off in many ways, but what I reconnected to during my little sabbatical was and still is priceless.

“You must have a higher purpose mission in your life, for your life to be truly fulfilling”

What is a higher purpose mission? A higher purpose mission is different for everyone, and it’s really no ones place to judge what yours should or should not be. You figure out what it is by first understanding what you are really good at, and second by understanding what you are passionate about that isn’t about you.

Passion isn’t purpose

Many confuse purpose with passion. You can be passionate about many things, and most of them are about you. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact focusing on yourself is not only healthy but it’s the only way you can care about others too as I mentioned in a previous article.

Purpose is about your legacy, a legacy that impacts others, it’s about fulfilling something greater than yourself, it is about your calling in life.

There are some things I’ve become really good at in my life, one of which is being an exceptional father. When it comes to fathering I am able to tap into an endless supply of being in service, and compassion, patience, loving discipline, encouragement and empowerment.

I can’t historically say the same about being a husband, it’s not been easy for me being a husband, and I have the expense of divorce to prove it, worth mentioning is also how incredibly expensive it can be not being good at something. Divorces translates to lots of money gone!

That being said, I finally figured out how to transfer the fathering skills into being a good husband too. It took me a while, but I got here. As it turns out being of service, compassionate, patient, loving, encouraging, and empowering works with every single relationship in life; it’s a proven formula.

Over the years I’ve become exceptionally good at leading people to believe they can accomplish more, and I am generally able to enroll people to do more, and grow as professionals and individuals as a result. I’ve done this both professionally, and as a volunteer mentoring and inspiring leaders in an organization devoted to improving the lives of men and their families, and communities they serve.

My single greatest source of joy in life is when I see and hear from someone I took under my wings years ago, become a C level executive, having a family, and contributing values to society. It makes me feel like I am living a life worth living.

What I connected to during my break through some introspection, and with the wisdom of close friends and mentors is that the context I embody when being a father serves not only my children, but serves me well as a man, as a husband, as a business leader.

By staying in a context of service and compassion, patience, discipline, encouragement and empowerment as I do with my children, I become an awesome husband to my wife and an even better leader in my community and career.

Who knew that raising children would bring out the best of me, and that I could apply this into every aspect of my life?

For a long time I believed my mission was to build successful businesses — and I’ve done that seven times, and after my little sabbatical I was so ready and fired up to do it again in an even bigger way.

I found my tribe, my home, my calling within Nearsoft, which is an amazing company that believes in freedom and equivalence and above all treats people with human dignity. The core company values align with who I am at my core — someone who believes people should aspire to fulfill their calling in life.

I don’t think I would have finished my soon to be published third book (Emotionally Aware Leadership), had it not been for the encouragement I received from the people I work with. I don’t think I would be part of the social rights movement of the 21st century, had it not been for the people I work with.

“You have to surround yourself with people who share similar purpose as you do, and above all people who encourage you and believe in you.”

My higher purpose mission in life is to be a source of empowerment. I believe humanity suffers from a dreadful virus, a disease, a silent killer or dreams and hope. Low self-worth is an epidemic. It is my purpose and mission to provide as many people as I can reach the elixir to the self-worth roller coaster ride. 

Someone recently asked me what do you think your best qualities as a professional are? I simply answered, to help people believe they are awesome.

My higher purpose mission is to empower everyone I come in contact with to be awesome. The canvas of my mission is not just my children, it is my wife, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, my book readers, and all those I come in contact with, maybe even you reading this post.

What is your higher purpose mission in life?

The Key to Leave The Self-Worth Roller Coaster Ride

The Key to Leave The Self-Worth Roller Coaster Ride

by | Apr 16, 2019 | Uncategorized

Throughout my life I’ve reached new levels of achievement and success, only to find myself sabotaging or starting over. What I mean by success isn’t just about business, it includes friendships, relationships, my emotional and spiritual state, and my physical health.

I spent over 40 years being a student of spirituality, self-development, and various streams of consciousness.  One of the recurring themes that came up relates to the ego.  You can find entire libraries about mastering, overcoming, killing, and letting go of the ego, and you would learn a great deal about yourself, but you won’t get to the root cause of all of our behaviors.

How we show up in the world is rooted in something deeper, something at the core of our beliefs. It is neuroscience at its best. How we related to others, ourselves, and how we act and behave is a function of our self-worth. 

“Low self-worth is a worldwide epidemic, but it does not have to be a life sentence.”

One of the 12 principles of an authentic leader, covered in my upcoming book “Emotionally Aware Leadership” deals with the impact self-worth has on leadership development, how we show up in the world, how we relate within ourselves and how we act towards others. The book covers the 12 principles in detail and you can pre-order it soon, but until then I wish to give you a gift.

The series of videos in this post will provide a glimpse into principle # 4 of an authentic leader “self-worth” and promises to also give you a gift. I only ask one thing of you, and that is to check out the videos as they are intended from the first one to the last. 

I promise you, if you are open to personal growth, these can be one of the most transformational 11 minutes of your life.

Start with video #1 and continue to video #5 – if you find it useful, or know someone who could benefit from this blog post, please share it with them.

Introduction

Self-Worth and The Ego

Dirty Little Secret of Megalomaniacs

Evaluating Your Self-Worth

Breaking Free

Pin It on Pinterest