We Need More Acceptance

We Need More Acceptance

We Need More Acceptance

With more liberty also comes more conflict. We live in a time when it’s easy to focus on the scandals, the left-side issues, and the right-side arguments, and even easier to take sides. People are cutting off friends and blocking each other on social networks. Cursing each other out and judging each other constantly. Self-righteousness has become the norm.

If we pause for a second, and reflect on what’s going on behind the scenes, look for the cause, it’s all happening for good reasons.

For thousands of years we as people have had to comply within a command and control paradigm, with a way of living that was essentially forced on us. Those who challenged authorities were put to death. Today, we freely express our opinions and as a result there is more conflict.

“With freedom comes more reason to develop the ability to listen, see the reason behind the things being said, and show human dignity to one another by practicing acceptance.”

No one is perfect. People opt into all kinds of behaviors to compensate for pain they may not be ready to face head on. Be it something that happened as a child like the loss of a parent, or being bullied, or a number of things that would cause early life wounds to surface as adults. Those behaviors can be the cause of judgment, ridicule, and sometimes the cause of hurt for other people.

The reason for practicing more acceptance is because every one of us has done something in our lifetime, that we may not be proud of, or behaved in such a way that wasn’t aligned with who we might be today.

Sometimes we just screw up. Screwing up doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to give us a life sentences as a screw up.

“Just because we screw up, doesn’t mean we are screwed up.”

We Are Evolving

Life is an evolution, and every one of us evolves at a different pace. Some people when they were younger may have struggled with drugs, sex, alcohol, anger, and other behavior that didn’t help them show up their best, all the time.

Some of these people, have since become civic leaders, spiritual gurus, great mentors, parents, grand-parents and decent human beings. Some of these peoples may have even lived duplicitous lives for years, till they came to grip with the underlying cause of their behavior.

Some of these people may have needed many decades to develop enough self-love in order to let go of behaviors that were nothing more than bandages to the deep wounds they may have had to heal.

Some may still be struggling with aspects of themselves that have proven very difficult to overcome and let go. That doesn’t make them bad people. Just humans trying to cope with the storms of life.

I talk about some of my own character flaws in my new book “Emotionally Aware Leadership”. It took me decades to get to the root cause of many of my not so great behaviors, which impacted my relationships with the people I love, and even my career.

The root cause of all our self-inflected problems is low self-worth. This is a main theme in my upcoming book, along with 11 other principles to become an authentic leader.

The point is, every one of us has had to overcome something, or may still be in the process of doing so. Yet, when a person’s behavior has an impact on us personally, perhaps someone rubs our ego the wrong way, there might be an inclination to instantly write them off as a bad person, as if we are holy and righteous, and they are not.

“We need to give each other a break as people, and practice unlimited forgiveness.”

What helped me to forgive more, was the realization that every time I judged someone, or held on to ill feelings towards someone, I was giving away my power to them. I was literally making them God over me. The moment I realized that, I set myself free and began to practice acceptance.

I heard one of my mentors say that the way out of hell in life… is on the other side of it. The door is just past the point of no return… only those trusting that the door is within reach, can walk through fire and gain control over everything.

I asked myself many times, what does that mean exactly?

“It’s impossible to accept others as evolving human beings who are not perfect, when we don’t first accept our own imperfect human condition.”

Think about that for a moment. Why do certain traits about others bother you? Because they remind you of traits about you that you don’t accept, especially those you might not even be aware of. How can you accept other people’s negative traits, if you don’t accept yourself completely first?

Two Realms of Reality

Ever noticed how two people living in the same neighborhood, with similar surroundings, similar socio-economic status, may experience the world around them completely different from each other?

That’s because there are two realms of reality. There are many realms of reality, but for the sake of simplicity let’s focus on the two primary causes of either a blissful life, or a chaotic one. For the sake of simplicity let’s talk about the realm of judgement, and the realm of love.

Right or wrong exists within the realm of judgment, also known as the realm of darkness. While we think we are exercising free-will when we are making right or wrong choices, we are not… we are robotic within the realm of judgment.

“There is no such thing as right or wrong, there are only life lessons, consequences, and opportunities for personal growth.”

Love on the other hand is the realm of acceptance and forgiveness. Love is the realm of Light. Our true free-will is only exercised when we choose love over judgment. Those are the only two choices we have which impact how we interpret everything happening in our respective lives.

Our thoughts and actions generate energy; this energy multiplies and creates a frequency. The more we generate the energy of compassion, love, acceptance, the more the frequency will get amplified worldwide for others to do the same.

The more we continue to be self-righteous, judgmental, unwilling to accept differences when people are simply practicing their liberties, the more chaos will continue to multiple.

Quantum Consciousness

In quantum science, every dimension is a reflection of the other. When you change just one resonance, it also reflects onto the others. The saying: It only takes one person to change the world — is true.

We exist within a ten-dimensional model, which has ten dimensions within each dimension multiplied infinitely. You and I are one element of these dimensions, but unlike inanimate objects we have something unique — consciousness.

Consciousness controls every dimension, so when we shift our consciousness towards more acceptance we begin to contribute to a more accepting, loving and compassionate reality for everyone.

There is a constant energy of expansion that takes our consciousness and multiplies it. This energy does not judge which direction our consciousness goes, it just supports what we want.

Doctrine and dogma have turned this energy into a judge of good and bad, hence why so many problems in the world, because we look at things from a place of right or wrong.

This energy we call God/Light/Universe is ready 24/7 to support what we want to manifest through our consciousness, without judgement.

Many think this energy wants us to do something for it. You cannot give the energy of expansion anything, it is constantly expanding and lacking nothing. When the collective of humanity reaches this understanding, we will begin to act accordingly towards one another; we will begin to seek to collaborate with each other.

“We need to give each other a break and seek to understand each other, seek to accept our differences and imperfections, and chose love over judgment.”

Life as an imperfect human being is an evolution of learning and growing. It’s a team sport that requires being willing to get dirty. Love and acceptance set us all free; judgements and self-righteousness only serve to ensnare us. Choose wisely friends.

We Need More Authentic Leaders

We Need More Authentic Leaders

We Need More Authentic Leaders

We live in a time of fake news. Fake politicians. Fake social media followers. Fake advertising clicks. Fake genetically modified foods. Fake body parts. Everywhere we turn, there is some scandal followed by another one. It’s hard to know who to trust, and more importantly who to turn to for genuine care.

Employees are disengaged with lack of trust, and loyalty in both directions. Relationships have become dispensable fragile temporary alliances, not rooted in trust and authenticity, but on the benefits that can be derived from them.

At the heart of all these issues facing our way of life today, is a severe lack of authentic leaders. We need genuine, authentic leaders at the helm of companies, organizations, and governments. Leaders that genuinely care about other people, and who have developed self-mastery.

The path towards becoming an authentic leader is not easy. It requires taking complete and full responsibility for your life. Being willing to confront aspects of yourself, that in some cases, leave a lot to be desired. However, the gift of learning and owning your character flaws, is that it can help you begin to reshape them and take control of them.

“Anything worth having is always met with great adversity.”

Self-Realization

Mastering the skills of leadership requires identifying the qualities of a great leader. A great leader exercises good moral character, is compassionate, is accepting, is open, is accountable, has high integrity, and is on a constant quest to acquire knowledge, invests in self-awareness, self-growth and seeks ways to apply wisdom, not just knowledge. Finally, a great leader exemplifies perseverance, and resilience.

“A leader’s goal is to set the example, and lead by example.”

To become a great leader, you must become someone lead by core values, and someone who is committed to self-realization. The hardest person to lead is your own self.

“An authentic leader is not defined by how many people work for them, rather by how many people their example influences for the betterment of humanity.”

Authentic leadership starts at home, in your community, at the office, in your town, city, country, and it extends out to the world. A truly authentic leader can influence the course of thousands of lives, without ever coming in contact or having any communication with any of them. How is that possible?

Say a friend comes to you with a problem he/she is facing, and it happens to be something you are also struggling with yourself, leadership in that case isn’t shown within the words of advice you give your friend, but by your commitment to take on that challenge and overcome it yourself. The consciousness behind that decision is so that you can make it possible for your friend to overcome his/her problem, by way of your example.

To further explain this, imagine you struggle with pornography, and a friend comes to you revealing in confidence that he/she may have a problem with watching too much porn. There are no words or wisdom you can share with your friend that will help them overcome the problem. If you really want to help your friend, overcome your own problem with pornography first.

This is the true essence of leadership. Taking on other people’s problems as your own, overcoming your own challenges as a means to helping others do the same. An exceptional leader is tuned in to his/her surroundings as a way to identify his/her areas of self-improvement.

Be the Example

If someone that works for you does not make it to meetings on time, is it possible there are areas in your own life where you don’t show up on time? Perhaps you are supposed to have dinner with your family at 8:00pm but you work an extra 30 minutes and show up at home 30 minutes late.

Most of us will use the excuse “I had to work another 30 minutes, the project needed me”, but the family needed you too… so don’t be surprised if employees show up 30 minutes late to work, or to an important meeting… because it is a reflection of you, and your lack of commitment to being on time in all aspects of your own life.

Most people live a duplicitous life, thinking that what they do at work, is different than their home life.

“There is no such thing as separate work life and family life, what you do in one affects the other and this is true in all aspects of life.”

Most who don’t realize this, end up repeating the same patterns with the people they attract. The truth is, the problem is not with the employee who isn’t meeting your expectations, the problem is buried deep inside you as the leader, and the only way to fix it, is to look within yourself, and fix yourself.

When you change yourself to be someone who shows up on time in every aspect of your life, magically people start to show up on time. Yes, that is the power of authentic leaders who harness that inner spirit that creates everything that resonates outside themselves.

Self-Direction

Having a system of self-realization is more important that an MBA, or any other educational investment you can make. If you look at the most exceptional leaders of all time, some of them never went to College, but all of them left behind inspiration, because they understood the greatest secret of leadership of all time. Invest in self -awareness through a path of self-realization, or as some call it spirituality.

“Becoming a self-leader is about becoming inner self-directed and a person that exudes or emanates positive attributes that contribute to the betterment of humanity.”

It has been proven by science that it isn’t what we say that influences everyone around us, it is our vibrations. The waves we give off influence everyone we come in contact with.

Many talk about self-care, it is an important practice and very much needed. However, the desire to take care of yourself so that you can take better care of others, is based on an even higher consciousness. That’s the true essence of an authentic leader.

Leadership is about giving. To become an exceptional leader, one must become an exceptional servant. I am not talking about altruism; I am talking about creating for others that which you want to experience yourself.

When you care deeply about the people that voluntarily get behind your vision, be it your family, friends, employees, peers, you begin to transform within yourself the very things that those you lead need help to overcome.

“Any flaws you identify outside of yourself is simply a reflection of something you need to become better at yourself. You must lead yourself out of chaos in order to remove chaos from other people’s lives.”

Next time you are bothered by someone’s behavior or actions, know that the only reason it bothers you is because you possess that character flaw within yourself, otherwise you would not notice it in them. See it as a gift, a mirror of what you can improve about yourself.

To improve the world, to make the world a better place, you must lead the world out of chaos; the first person to lead is yourself. That’s the beginning of authentic leadership.

How to Become Your Own Hero

How to Become Your Own Hero

How to Become Your Own Hero

Heroes can play a role in the development of your character from a tender age. We tend to look up to heroes as supreme examples of the greatness that is inherently possible in human beings. Heroes influence and shape the lives of everyone they touch. Sometimes a hero can be one of your own family members, such as a virtuous parent or sibling.

Other times a hero can be a celebrity, such as a famous sports figure who seems to defy the laws of gravity, or someone who uses fortune to do good in the world. Heroes can even come from fictional stories or movies, such as Superman, or Wonder Woman.

The function of a hero remains the same, regardless of the hero being real or fictional. That function is to provide you with the inspiration to overcome your adversities and achieve what you know is right and good.

Superheroes exemplify great power, strength, courage, and ability. Beautiful heroes exemplify stunning physical beauty and alluring qualities. Genius heroes exemplify startling brilliance, foresight, and mind power.

The specific heroic traits that you admire are a personal choice. Having a hero is a natural and healthy part of conscious life.

Examples of childhood heroes are Batman and Robin, the Six Million Dollar Man, and Super Woman. Examples of adult heroes are James Bond, Michael Jordan, and Laura Croft. Having a hero or several heroes can be a source of inspiration, fun, and excitement.

Heroes can have a positive impact on character development because often people strive to cultivate those traits or virtues that are most desirable in a hero.

The problem with looking to heroes for solutions is that it also supports an upside-down world within a command and control parading that exists both within a patriarchy or matriarchy. Meaning, we give life to the idea that someone has the power to make things better, other than you.

Under the command and control way of doing things, every person on planet Earth lives within the closed boundaries of an upside-down world that enables nefarious behaviors and keeps humanity co-dependent.

We live in a time where people are at odds with each other over beliefs, and standards of living. All sides looking for the hero to introduce change and make us whole. Sadly, this is just the evolution of a command and control paradigm that instills co-dependence to someone on top, instead of interdependence based on equivalency.

The problem isn’t which political party you belong to, which religion you practice, the color of your skin, or your socio-economic status. The problem is the narrative that continuously tells us we need someone to save us. That’s religion’s narrative, and politics narrative too, both systems support command and control paradigms that no longer serve us as people.

“To achieve true equivalence and radical respect, an entire population shift needs to take place from today’s irrational “save me” way of being, to a rational world, where the only hero in the narrative is yourself.”

We are already experiencing a worldwide shift from dependence to independence. More and more people are working on a freelance basis and seeking ways to be their own source of income, instead of working for an organization.

No one likes the command and control paradigm, except for those on the top, and I am pretty sure they are not happy either having to constantly be the hero everyone depends on, and in some cases having to play the villain when things get difficult, financially speaking.

“We need to evolve to loving interdependence based on equivalence.”

This will support the need for more human dignity between each other, and set us all free. That’s a path towards mutual radical respect.

Be the Hero

Does becoming your own hero sound like a radical idea? Maybe it is, but it is not mystical, and it’s not based on hoping someone else will do what’s necessary to make life better for your own self.

With a few simple techniques you can esteem your own person as much or more than the superheroes.

To become your own hero, you need accurate self-knowledge. By fully understanding yourself and knowing who you are, you are on an unshakable foundation. Doing an assessment of your character will reveal your positive and negative traits. By negative, I mean those traits you wish to improve or break free from.

In life coaching we use many tools to see what strengths and weaknesses someone seeking to gain new perspectives might have. The goal is to identify what to focus on to achieve your intended growth.

For the sake of simplicity here is an easy way to do a self-assessment.

List your traits on paper and do a side-by-side comparison of both your strengths and weaknesses. You will see your character development up to this point in your life. You can see what traits you need to develop to strengthen your character. After you’ve done that, begin to identify your core competence, and then develop a character development plan of the superhero you want to strive to become.

One way to be able to see into the future you, is to imagine you went to sleep one night, and when you woke up you possessed all the skills, and characteristics of your perfect self. What would those skills and characteristics be? Write them down.

The importance of self-awareness enables you to choose the direction you want to grow toward. You can then predict how your character will evolve in the coming years, as you make attainable commitments to improve yourself.

“Self-awareness coupled with a smart plan of accountable action, will allow you to shape yourself in the image of your ideal hero.”

You can use your projected character development as your own hero. That hero is the future you. That hero can provide you as much or more inspiration as any other childhood or adult hero.

By projecting yourself as that future hero, you create a situation you control. You decide which traits you want to develop, and you create an image of yourself already possessing such traits.

That image, regardless how far into the future he or she might be, becomes your source of inspiration. That image becomes your hero. And that hero is you, albeit in the future.

“By becoming your own hero, everything you do works toward your own success. You put yourself in firm control of your own personal growth and character development.”

As you focus on moving towards becoming your own here, you are no longer an outer-directed person; you become inner-directed, self-aware, and centered on values that matter to you most.

“The combination of being in control of your own character development and being inner-directed leads to genuine self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-realization.”

You become happy to be alive when you become your own hero, and you work for your own success. This day-to-day happiness is the fuel that will enable you to be free and to lead a fulfilling life.

Can you imagine a world where everyone was working towards becoming their own hero?

Rather than being co-dependent on one hero, we would have an interdependent world of billions of self-made heroes based on equivalence and radical mutual respect.

We Need More Human Dignity

We Need More Human Dignity

We Need More Human Dignity

I often think about what is needing to address many of the issues we face as a society being multi-dimensional. There are many social movements in place. They are all very good and needed initiatives.

However, a lot of the ways many are addressing various societal problems are single-dimensional and are not dealing with the root cause of the problems.

Gender gaps, inclusion, diversity, equal pay, affirmative action, black lives matter, metoo, etc. are all very important issues that need awareness, and action — however they are the outcomes of something rooted deeply in something bigger.

“The root cause of all our problems is lack of human dignity.”

I am passionate about bringing the Radical movement to the world. To me Radicals is about the need to get to the root of not just our work problems in society, but how we relate to ourselves and each other as human beings.

While in Russia, speaking at one of the top 5 universities, a young man, made a comment during the Q&A session following my Radical Cultures presentation.

He said: “What you want to do is change the world — you are getting to the culture, how people live, and how societies and countries are operating. It’s a huge endeavor”.

I replied: “Yes, it is a mission to change the world for the better, but we are focused on one person at a time. Just one of you here in Siberia Russia can take these principles to heart, start a company, or become a leader in one, begin to apply these principles, and the change begins. Someone leaves your company, and brings the principles along to another company, and before you know it society has changed.” I continued by saying: “The change starts with you embodying human dignity in how you hold yourself as worthy and extend the same to others.”

The even deeper root cause of all of our problems that are under the umbrella of “lack of human dignity”, is lack of self-worth. Lack of self-worth is a worldwide epidemic, a virus infecting all of humanity. It needs to be healed and that starts with the self.

The trunk to everything that can be good in the world is human dignity, and the branches of the tree extends to work, school, family, community, society, and ultimately the world. The roots of the trunk need to be deep in a high self-worth foundation.

Being a Radical is about having a multi-dimensional positive impact on all our lives, by highlighting and having the courage to talk about ourselves, in an authentic, raw, and unapologetic way.

We humans carry so much shame from choices we may have made in our lives, related to relationships, work and career, education, choices in entertainment, because of a narrative that has not served humanity. The narrative of self-sacrifice, and selflessness, and doctrine.

We are not meant to be perfect; we are meant to be on an ongoing journey of self-discovery and learning. We need to start giving each other a break by not demonizing being human who screw up — often.

You can’t offer up to solve the problems of the world, without solving the source of the problems. Society is a reflection, a mirror of who we are inside.

“The violence in the world is nothing more than a resonance of the violence within us.”

The violence begins when we are at odds with our desires, and our actions. The violence begins within us when we have difficulty being kind to ourselves and demand perfection. All conflicts within ourselves, amplify into chaos worldwide.

This isn’t some new age spiritual awakening; this is proven quantum science. You want to change the world? Start with the human in the mirror.

Acceptance

You can only extend to others what you value within yourself. If you embrace yourself even when you are out of sorts, you’ll extend the same courtesy to others when they are in the same mode of being.

Conversely, when you accept yourself as a gift in the world, you will recognize the same gift in others.

“Whatever is external of you is a mirror of who you are within.”

It’s important to not avoid or mask our darkness. We need to learn to be ok with going deeper into the darkness to discover the source of it. We need to stop beating or judging ourselves up for having darkness. You may have been chosen to play out the darkness so you could overcome it and create the frequency for others to tap into, in order to break free. Everything has a purpose, if we stay open to learning, instead of judging.

“The way out of hell in life, is on the other side of it. The door is just past the point of no return, only those trusting that the door is within reach, can walk through fire and gain control over everything.”

There are two ways to overcome challenges in life.

1) You work really hard to transform yourself, and to overcome the “not so good” traits; most of us end up simply suppressing who we are, but few do actually transform “some” aspects of themselves.

2) You accept yourself as you are, and you focus on becoming a being who bestows goodness in the world.

The first route will have you chasing your tail for years, and has been the cause of depression, anger, resentment and all the chaos in the world for thousands of years.

All the chaos in the world stems from lack of self-respect, self-love, self-dignity, self-honor, and lack of self-acceptance.

“It’s impossible to accept others as they are when we still have things we don’t accept about ourselves.”

Think about that for a moment. Why do certain traits about others bother you? Because they remind you of traits about you that you don’t want to accept. How can you accept other people’s traits if you don’t accept yourself completely?

“When you accept yourself for all of who you are, you can do the same for others, and you begin to experience life’s beauty in the imperfection.”

Something amazing happens as you remove judgment from yourself, which causes internal violence, you remove it from the world. As judgment diminishes, so does chaos. Chaos is energized by judgment. Judgment powers up chaos, remove the judgment and chaos will cease to have any source of energy.

As an alternative to judgment you can try acceptance, acceptance shifts you into state of being where bliss is the normal mode of existence.

“Acceptance is being present without judgment.”

Love Yourself

A good way to practice human dignity is with yourself. Give yourself a hug and say: “I am great just as I am, and I love me just as I am. I extend the same to everyone around me, and allow them to accept me as I am. I can now focus my energy on emanating the love I have for myself to the entire world and allow the world to do the same in return”.

Most of the chaos that exists is due to hatred for no reason, but it all starts within. Why does judgment exist? Because of lack of self-love, and self-worth.

“If we loved ourselves enough, just as we are, we would extend the same to the outside world and in turn activate the energy of mercy and love which knows no chaos.”

For millenniums we’ve been chasing our tails, going in circle feeling bad about our “character flaws”, which in some ways has kept us from achieving our greatest potential as humanity. Our lack of dignity towards one another is only a reflection of our own lack of self-acceptance and self-worth.

It’s important to get in touch with our own inner ugliness. This is very important, but for no other reason than to recognize it, accept it, and find love for ourselves anyway. The less life we give judgements, the more they will dissipate within, and all over the world.

We often think free-will is about our ability to choose right from wrong. The natural order of things is bliss, order, harmony… that is the normal state of existence.

So why do we not experience it all the time?

“How we choose to perceive ourselves, is how we experience the entire Universe.”

The only free-will we have, is to choose to either accept everything with love or with judgment. Love allows us to come to peace with ourselves and extend the same to others.

Human dignity is rooted in self-love, and high self-worth. What the world needs is more human dignity, and that starts with each and everyone one of us doing our part in loving and fully accepting the human in the mirror.

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