How Being Grounded Makes You a Better Leader

by Tullio Siragusa | Oct 26, 2020

How Being Grounded Makes You a Better Leader

Can climbing the corporate ladder have a positive or negative effect on your personality and how you work? Being a part of the corporate world, one can get sucked into enjoying titles and very lucrative positions, and the focus on success can end up with many of us ignoring the bigger picture in life.

The life of a leader is demanding and complex. Responsibilities only increase with time. It can become difficult to find the perfect balance between personal and professional life.

“How we choose to balance the two spheres of professional and personal life determines how fulfilling our life is going to be.”

The secret to becoming a truly successful and fulfilled leader is to stay grounded.

When we are grounded, we remain relatively unaffected by the ups and downs in our lives because we are connected to our real selves.

Taking care of ourselves as leaders means giving proper focus to our work, spending quality time with family and friends, and following some spiritual practices. This all ties into being able to preserve our authenticity.

Stay Grounded

Life is multi-faceted, and to live it in a fulfilling way we must ensure a proper balance of all the spheres of our life.

Innovative leaders and a decision-makers tend to proactively think out of the box, but you are still looking at the box.

According to my recent Rant & Grow podcast guest Rishad Ahmed, a life coach, business coach, and mentor with 20+ years of experience, our brain has immense capacity to break free from the old ways and deliver fresh and energetic ideas.

“We have the innate capacity to not get flustered whenever we come face to face with a problem.”

If you feel confused and seem to be stuck, then it’s time for to pick up a fresh approach and find a new way of doing things.

This begs the question: How do these new and fresh ideas come to us?

Rishad has found the answer in Eastern philosophy which suggests that our mind is not exactly in our head or physical body.

“Our mind is an energy field surrounding our body.”

All our information, thoughts, and perceptions are derived from the core of our consciousness.

“When practicing centering techniques that silences the mind, you will find yourself channelizing your surrounding energetic field into the brain to deliver unique solutions.”

The more connected and grounded you are to your inner self, the easier it will be for you to stay authentic and find a perfect balance in your life.

This grounded way of being, enables you to make better decisions in all aspects of your life.

Trust and Train Your Mind

The typical way of dealing with things in the corporate world has forced us to think only about the structured and established ways.

We are obsessed with following the old and conventional KPI methods that give us the hope of a better ROI.

It is science and logic that drives the decisions of leaders who aren’t willing to discover tier authentic selves.

“Leaders who break free from the traditional wheel thinking, who trust their instincts springing up from consciousness, tend to make better decisions”.

We end up restraining our minds if we try to bind it by the limitations of only logic.

The mind is an exceptional machine.

“Logic may help you to assemble thoughts, but the origin of thoughts are beyond logic.”

If you are truly seeking organic answers, they will come to you if you center yourself and connect with your spiritual self.

With the breeze of freshness and spontaneity, you will notice your mind can do wonders for you.

To preserve this authenticity in your thoughts, you must introspect and trust the power of your mind, and this can only be accomplished by being grounded.

Find Time for Yourself

Every answer and solution exists before the questions or problems are raised. Read that again please.

To get to the answers you need to connect with your inner self. Spend some time with yourself, clear your mind of distractions, and your mind will have access to fresh perspective.

To be an effective leader, you need to shift away from being commanding and controlling. You must treat yourself as a channel to help people. Your role is to channel the right energy that supports the purpose you are committed to.

“There is no fixed formula to stay grounded. You must embark on your own journey to build the bridge to your inner self.”

You might have heard people asking you to be positive or look at things positively. But, in doing so, you are disconnecting from the truth. There is a lot of fake positivity floating around us.

The most important step to being grounded is to embrace the truth. See things as they are and you can solve every problem.

“Pretending to be positive will push you towards negativity. Be authentic.”

As a leader, it’s your connection to the true self that will help you excel in every sphere of life.

Embracing your inner self and accepting things the way they are, that’s how you can be in the present and grounded.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with Rishad. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

How Meditation Principles Can Improve Communication

by Tullio Siragusa | Oct 19, 2020

How Meditation Principles Can Improve Communication

Communication is the building block of relationships. This includes your self-talk and how you communicate with those around you.

“How we connect with ourselves defines our behavior and bond with the people we love.“

You should enjoy the relationships you form as you move along life — with your partner, family members, and coworkers.

Cynthia Kane, a certified meditation and mindfulness instructor, recently shared on my Rant & Grow podcast about her three books on the theme of communication.

In her recent book, ‘How to Meditate like a Buddhist’, she talks about the intentional communication method based on principles of speech in Buddhism.

Cynthia sheds light on that from her personal experiences. She used to indulge in hurtful gossips and was often jealous of the relationship’s others had around her.

She felt uncomfortable in the silence and could not communicate well with the ones she loved. This took a toll on her mental peace and often left her all by herself. Even in her relationship, she suffered a huge personal loss due to her long-time partner’s death.

This tragedy pushed her into a world full of doubt, anxiety, and misery. She was searching for answers and a way to get over through the hardship. In this search for peace, she came across the path of meditation in Buddhism.

Open Up to Yourself

We all face times in our lives when troubles don’t seem to end. We feel like we have no one to talk to and it forces us to shut ourselves down. The breakdown of communication, even with the self, leads us towards confusion and misery.

The first step in the process of meditation is to acknowledge the things that have hurt us and then slowly letting them go. The art of letting go of things is where the Buddhist way can come to the rescue.

To be able to change the difficult circumstances we are in, we should first have honest communication with ourselves.

Next, we should focus on how we are interacting with the world around us because that is what has given birth to our perception of it.

“When we open communication with the self, we explore our strengths and shortcomings.”

As we start working on the aspects where we lag behind, we begin to see clearly how we have been communicating in our relationships in the outside world.

The elements of the right speech, according to Buddhism, are what opens the door to the self as we head towards a path of peace and tranquility.

Elements of Right Speech

The following are the principles of Right Speech:

Tell the Truth

Don’t Exaggerate

Don’t Gossip

Don’t Speak Ill of Others

According to Cynthia, these principles do seem easy to understand. However, to practice them in our speech is what is essential to notice the consequent change in the nature of the world around us.

It is true that there is suffering in the world. We do observe people in traumas, reeling in pain, and not communicating with others.

They are scared of admitting the truth and facing their emotions which inhibits their channel of communication with the self. Suppression of emotions adversely impacts our behavior.

“We must give ourselves a chance to feel and heal”.

This constant feeling of discomfort and hiding from our emotions restrict our communication with the world. To be able to let go of this heavy feeling, one must acknowledge the pain and follow the principles of Right Speech.

The failure to tell the truth, to exaggerate events, gossiping, and malicious intent towards others is the burden we bear in our everyday life.

Cynthia believes that when we practice the four elements of right speech, we acknowledge mistakes, and step onto the path of change that leads us towards peace.

It is Okay to Not Be Okay

One does not have to be a Buddhist to understand why and how communication is important.

We live in a world filled with emotions and we are bestowed with the precious gift of speech, so we can express ourselves.

The idea of attachment and then wanting others to change for us pushes us into a world of unrealistic expectations.

If you are clinging to outcomes and focusing on how others are behaving with you, you are losing track of how you are interacting with the world.

Do not judge and be harsh on yourself if you are attached to the wrong emotions. Once you label these negative emotions and become completely honest with yourself, you will feel a rush of positive energy within.

“Talk to yourself in a way that pushes you in the right direction”.

The principles of right speech open up this channel of this self-communication, which ultimately enables us to have better relationships with all we come in contact with.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with Cynthia. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

How One Smile Can Change the World

by Tullio Siragusa | Oct 12, 2020

How One Smile Can Change the World

It is one thing to put on a great smile in front of everybody and say you are doing great but realize there is a deeper more genuine smile that we often miss out on.

We are so busy with the ways of the world around us that we can easily forget what a genuine smile means and how it can impact the people around us.

“A genuine smile is magical indeed and we all have that magic within us.”

One might often indulge in fun activities to try to appear happy but can be disconnected from his/her real self at the same time.

Many will often participate in fun parties and believe they are having fun. There is a deeper level of fun that sadly we don’t dare to act out.

Try to remember when you were a little kid. You used to enjoy little things and find happiness in trivial things. As we grow up, we are told to be more and more conscious of how we behave.

In that process of “growing up” we slowly but surely find ourselves disconnecting from our innocence and the purity in our thoughts and actions.

For instance, you can always drink at parties to shed your inhibitions and have fun, but have you ever tried to enjoy dancing at a party without getting drunk?

The point here isn’t to have a moral conversation about the merits of drinking, it is simply to point out how most people have become dependent on external things to activate happiness.

“All it takes is a genuine smile to activate your own happiness and spread it to people around you.”

State of Mind

To know yourself and get closer to enjoying a genuine smile, you must first analyze your life. Try to think about small moments in your life that have made you genuinely smile and how those moments have stayed with you.

Focus on what you truly want out of your life, something that you love, even the little things. It can be something as small as figuring out your favorite color.

Suppose you love wearing black. Is it just because that is what people around you appreciate you in, or is that what you like?

Are you simply going with the flow or is what you are doing what you love?

If you truly love it, then step into something black more often. Start with these basic thoughts and actions. If you identify and choose what makes you more like yourself, you will connect to your real self.

“The state of mind where you are comfortable and closest to your real self, is where you will find your genuine smile.”

Break Out of the Herd

We usually try to live up to the expectations and customs of society. It is hard for us to be unique in the herd. This is what makes us lose ourselves. We are taught to meet expectations and follow certain rules that come with the roles we have to step in, even within the family circle.

What we don’t realize, maybe, is that we can come alive if we choose to be unique. Jamie Lynn Marvin, a coach, speaker and ocean photographer passionate about making moments magical by uncovering joy, strength and calmness in everyday moments, shared some words of wisdom in one of my recent Rant & Grow podcasts.

“Dare to be different than the herd and live on your own terms.”

If there are certain things that you don’t approve of about your life, then stop doing them one-by-one. That momentum will get you closer to knowing more about your personality and desires.

According to Jamie, once you are aware of your inner thoughts, you can then spend more time thinking about your childhood. Identify your core strengths and beliefs that will help you stay in touch with your authentic self. Focus on these things and make small changes gradually and you will find yourself standing out of the herd.

Smile More

Cherish your special moments with a smile every time. Irrespective of the group of people around you, a genuine smile conveys your real happiness.

This ensures that people will acknowledge your happy thoughts and it will create a ripple effect.

“When you feel good about yourself, don’t be afraid to express it.”

Jamie believes that you can brighten up someone’s dull day with a simple smile. When you are hurt, you should express your pain, but you don’t have to be necessarily bitter about it. You should stay connected with your authentic feelings and acknowledge them.

Do not suppress your real feelings. It will help you to stay true, and whenever you are genuinely happy, that smile will grace your face.

Remember, it is the small moments that matter. If you focus on them more and stay true to your real self, you will never get distracted with the pretentious ways of the world.

Hiding or faking your emotions will keep you disconnected. Seek help from your loved ones or even a good counselor and keep in touch with yourself.

You can then express gratitude and love freely among those around you. It will inspire them to be more like you. They will connect with themselves more and you will find a genuine smile on their face too.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with Jamie. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

How to Turn Unfortunate Circumstances Into Opportunities

by Tullio Siragusa | Oct 5, 2020

How to Turn Unfortunate Circumstances Into Opportunities

This year has been tough on everyone around the world. People have suffered losses, both physical and financial. Many people have seen unfortunate circumstances in their lives with things spiraling out of their control.

One might have been struck with an illness, or lost their jobs, or lost someone close to them. Adversities have hit us hard and fast causing our heads to spin.

“Change is an unstoppable force that visits you often and when you least expect it.”

Unfortunate situations happen unexpectedly. What matters is how you choose to tackle them.

How to Approach Unfortunate Circumstances

We are often so busy with our daily routine that we do not prepare for adversity. What most of us fail to recognize is that when faced with adverse situations, it is life’s way of giving us opportunities to explore ourselves.

Being busy causes us to often forget who we are, what we want, and what we have been working for. Under such circumstances, we can begin to feel like victims. We can begin to believe that the things that are happening to us are out of our hands. More often than not, this causes nervous breakdowns, and illness to boot.

You need to understand that a challenging circumstance doesn’t necessarily have to be a problem. It can be an opportunity to find yourself again and explore a new road in life.

To tackle difficult circumstances, the first thing you need to do is — focus.

When several aspects of your life seem to be slipping out of your hand, you must focus and take control of something that is always in your control — your mindset.

Don’t let other people and their judgments and opinions take control of you. Start with forgiving your mistakes for trying to grow and make peace with those who have wronged you.

This will certainly take away obstacles in your mind and give you clarity of thought. The next important thing that will help you take charge of your life, is gratitude.

Show Gratitude and Keep Learning

When we face difficult situation, we often feel pain. Pain is not a stop sign for you to get anxious and frustrated. Pain is an opportunity to strategize and redirect your life to better situations.

You can take strength from the inspiring words of David Meltzer, who was recently a guest on my Rant & Grow podcast. David is a prominent speaker, author, top business coach, co-founder and CEO of Sports1Marketing.

According to Dave, cultivating and showing gratitude in your thoughts and actions will help you rediscover yourself and drive you towards growth and self-development.

To develop gratitude, you can follow his five simple and basic daily practices:

Take inventory of your values and appreciate them every day.
Be courageous in asking for help from others when you need it and be grateful to them.
See the things around you through the lens of gratitude, the ones that you have planned and even for those that were unexpected.
Do things with gratitude. Happy people get things done and unhappy people just don’t.
Identify the fears that are causing you pain and stop them from becoming exaggerated in your head.

“By embracing gratitude in your life, you will gain the mental peace and happiness that you have been searching for.”

With gratitude you will find yourself moving away from fears of challenges. You will indeed find yourself headed onto a path of growth, acceleration, and enlightenment.

Accountability

Once you embrace gratitude, you must take accountability for the things that you have done and for the things that have happened to you. The goal is to be a student of every circumstance in your life.

When things happen, ask yourself what you are supposed to learn from that challenging situation. A way to become empowered when circumstances become difficult, is to also ask yourself why you attracted this into your life. Look for the growth opportunities in tough situations.

There is a difference between accountability, responsibility, and liability. Don’t just hold yourself responsible for things and be a victim. You can’t hold the world liable for the things that have happened to you either. You must take accountability and start to learn from situations that present themselves.

Disasters do happen. You can always learn from challenges and find opportunities to grow. Once you are on the path of learning, you will stop bringing pain to yourself.

Take, for instance, David Meltzer’s story. He started with nothing. He worked hard and became a millionaire within nine months after graduating from law school. He was a multi-millionaire at the age of 32.

However, he soon faced hardships and went bankrupt. He kept learning and started over again by practicing gratitude and being in action towards his goals by being a student of his time and schedule.

Dave made his fortune again and is now a successful serial entrepreneur and philanthropist.

“When you realize opportunity is in challenges, you can lead an authentic life being more honest with yourself, others, and the world around you.”

Rather than fighting against change and feeling more pain than necessary, look through the problems and find the growth opportunities. You can do this by using your faith to invite positive energy and manifest it into actions.

You can have faith in a higher power, the universe, God, or yourself. It doesn’t matter what you have faith in, as long as you practice what faith does for you.

“Faith translates into certainty. Certainty gets you into action. Action creates manifestation.”

Remember, actions are important. Don’t get stuck at wanting. Go past it and start doing. Then, you will find more inspirations and opportunities.

How you handle unfortunate circumstances is always up to you. So, buckle up, get focused, practice gratitude, have faith and start doing what needs to be done.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with David. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

How Leaders can Break Free of the Fear of Criticism

by Tullio Siragusa | Sep 28, 2020

How Leaders can Break Free of the Fear of Criticism

If someone tries to offer you feedback, how open are you to accept it? How do you think you will react? Do you immediately get defensive, anticipating critical feedback, thinking up of justifications?

Don’t worry if this happens to you. Most of us do not welcome criticism. We do like to form opinions and offer them freely to those around us, however, when it comes to receiving feedback, we are mostly uncomfortable.

If you are a leader in an organization, you must realize that taking in regular feedback is extremely important in the workplace. Having a clear path of communication with your employees is critically important for teams to function properly.

It Is Hard to Accept Feedback

Most leaders are not comfortable receiving feedback. They prefer to mentor teams, help them out at every stage, and offer constructive advice. But most prefer not to hear what people have to honestly say about them.

The first and most common issue that can be observed in the workplace is that leaders rarely get honest feedback. Due to hierarchy, employees have seen leaders move up the ladder, and to ensure they are always in good graces with them, they offer only positive feedback.

This results in over inflated egos. Leaders not only become full of themselves but also ignore the reality of the workplace around them.

“Most leaders have gotten used to having their egos stroked by employees seeking to be in their good graces. This puts an organization at a disadvantage due to the lack of honesty and intimacy”

Another reason that makes it difficult to accept feedback is our human nature itself. It is true that we are curious creatures and want to learn about everything around us. At the same time, we are not comfortable with learning about ourselves.

We want people to accept us for who we are. We do not want others to highlight our flaws, and that demotivates even our well-wishers to come forward with honest feedback.

Triggers of Rejection

Even if sometimes leaders do receive feedbacks, most will choose to ignore and completely reject them. According to Tushar Vakil, an award-winning executive leadership coach, master facilitator, and keynote speaker I recently spoke with on my Rant & Grow podcast, there are three things that trigger rejection.

1. Truth trigger: If someone confronts a leader directly about the flaws or shortcomings in their leadership, it offends them. It is rare to find people that accept truth, even when it’s coming from someone close to them.

2. Relationship trigger: As it happens in the workplace, every relationship in the workplace has certain dynamics that can also trigger rejection. If a colleague comes up with honest feedback, it comes attached with the emotional baggage of his/her position and job title in the company. Due to this relationship dynamic, leaders will find it uncomfortable to accept the feedback.

3. Identity trigger: This revolves more around personal issues of a leader including their childhood baggage and unhealed traumas. Our behavior is defined by our childhood and it’s often reflected in our actions when we grow up. Sometimes a leader finds it hard to digest criticism because of deep-rooted issues and insecurities (i.e. growing up with an overbearing mother).

How to Overcome the Fear of Criticism

The first step is to acknowledge that critical and honest feedback will not only improve your bond with employees but will help you make informed decisions.

“When your employees get to share their concerns freely, you become more aware of the dynamics in the workplace, helping you make better decisions.”

To overcome fear of criticism, the second and the most important step is self-awareness. You should be aware of your behavior and of those around you.

As it is rightly said, ‘awareness is half the cure’

If you provide a safe space for your employees to share feedback, you will get to know about the strengths and weaknesses of your leadership style.

When your employees feel comfortable sharing their opinion and know that their concerns are being heard, they will open up further. This creates intimacy and trust and translates to a more productive workplace.

“As a leader, you must know when you are restricting the flow of intimacy and trust in the workplace by allowing the inflation of your ego.”

By keeping yourself aware and connected to your team, you can easily manage the first two triggers i.e. truth and relationship triggers.

For your deep-rooted childhood issues, you must realize that they will interfere with your work someday or the other. A leader must opt for one-on-one coaching, and possibly even therapy if they have these issues.

With proper coaching from the right experts, these insecurities can be understood and checked.

“If you want to be an effective leader, you must face your true self and overcome your fears and traumas.”

Once you do that, you will find yourself more accepting and willing to receive criticisms and work on yourself accordingly.

Once you overcome the fear of criticism, you should remember to accept it in the right way as well. Some criticism is projection by the other person. As you keep your ego in check, you will be able to discern the difference and make best use of the information to help yourself and others.

Listening to employees and working on yourself will help you gain trust in your leadership. You must remember that one should never stop learning, and being open to criticism allows you to keep motivating yourself to grow.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with Tushar. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

How to Trade in Weak Love for Strong Love

by Tullio Siragusa | Sep 21, 2020

How to Trade in Weak Love for Strong Love

Every human being on this planet spends considerable time searching for love. Today is the era of speed dating, matchmaking, online dating, and every other modality you can think of.

It’s no longer a question of being able to find love, the issue is more often than not finding someone to hang on to. Sometimes we are not the right person and other times we start blaming “them” or point fingers at “them” for not being able to understand us. That’s when the search continues.

The real challenge is finding the right love and sustaining it. When we are not clear about what we want from life or who we are, we cling onto people around us to give meaning to our lives.

“Expecting others to fulfill us, or to give meaning to the love we desire, leads to weak love.”

Strong Love

According to my recent conversation on the Rant & Grow podcast with Denna Babul, Author of her recent Simon & Schuster book “Love Strong — Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life, and Take Your Power Back!”, it is important to understand that it is not only women who are searching for strong love. Men also want strong love!

“All sentient creatures want to experience strong love.”

Our efforts will be in vain if we do not understand the difference between weak and strong love. For our love to be strong, we must first bring peace and symmetry into our own lives.

We must be confident in giving and receiving love. We must focus on ourselves and understand that sometimes the wrongs around us are reflections of what we have difficulty accepting about ourselves.

“A key step to enabling strong love in our lives is self-awareness, and the application of emotional intelligence in taking full responsibility for our own lives.”

Once we internalize this truth, we will be able to accept who we are and also accept the way others are. When we are giving or receiving weak love, we start to doubt ourselves, we feel misunderstood, and get angry.

Sometimes we even get out-of-control or start to over-control those around us. That is why it is essential to first understand ourselves. That is the only way we can stay happy and encouraged in our relationships.

Signs of Weak Love

If you take a pause and focus on yourself, you will be able to notice when you are giving or receiving weak love. Denna Babul believes that everybody is different in how they perceive themselves in relationships.

There are times when we hear the same advice from many people, even strangers, but we go out searching for advice only when we are not steady in what we want to receive in life and can’t make decisions.

In reality, we are just looking for someone who will tell us what we want to hear. This is a sign of weak love.

When you get to a point in life where you have done everything you can for love and it’s still not enough, then you have to rebuild yourself and focus. You must start to look within. Think about what you have been doing and then start accepting yourself.

Identify Your True Self

We usually look for a small break from a relationship by seeking something fun. However, an emotionally healthy person will know that this is only temporary. You must look for something deeper.

“To understand your true self, you must first focus and find out your core value system.”

Our value system has strong roots in our childhood and how we have perceived our parents. For instance, one who has had authoritative parents, tends to avoid such figures in their adulthood, and often develop disdain for authority figures all together.

It is similar to letting your inner child drive your life. You must accept and overcome these childhood traumas and see that your value system is not dependent on anyone else, not even your parents.

“You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child, but you are responsible for the narrative you allow from it to shape you as an adult.”

Denna calls this the mirror effect — when you let your past impact your relationships in the present. If you keep on living a lie and manifest your version of the truth, you will end up giving and receiving weak love.

Your core values could be trust, love, acceptance, kindness, integrity, and inclusivity. When you figure out your core system, you can begin to understand yourself, what you want from life, and who is worthy of your time and attention.

“People in their jobs work hard to get better and evolve, but often don’t do the same in relationships.”

There are phases in a relationship like attraction, idealization, and commitment. When you are just attracted to someone, you may back off as soon as the real self of the other person comes out.

If you want a long-term relationship, you must understand your core values and try to figure out if the other person acknowledges and respects them. You also need to understand their core value system to align your relationship and reciprocate the same respect.

Once you know what you want and who you are, you can set your narrative. Seek your true self and achieve strong love in your life.

Check out the Rant & Grow podcast episode with Denna. Maybe you’ll discover some wisdom for your own life. You can listen to the podcast right here.

« Older Entries

Next Entries »