How to Ask for Help and Get It

by Nov 18, 2019

Asking for help is an important aspect of personal growth. Everyone faces challenges at some point in their life. One of the purposes for developing human connections, and relationships is to help and support each other through our collective life journey.

To strive for total independence is to strive for isolation. Too often we tout autonomy as this extraordinary thing to strive for, but it’s not reasonable or even attractive to achieve it; that’s not how we are wired as human beings.

As people we are wired to be in relationship with other individuals. Going against this is like being opposed to nature. The goal is to develop solid inter-depended relationships.

“Requesting help exhibits vulnerability, maturity, trust and fosters intimacy.”

Asking for help shows a level of self-awareness to our limitations, and a commitment to our growth. Rather than thinking of asking for help as a sign of weakness, see it for what it is – a commitment to growing. Yet, asking for help is also the ultimate form of giving. Helping someone is a privilege, and an opportunity to experience sharing, and being useful; it is a source of joy for the giver.

“When we ask someone for help, we are giving someone the ultimate gift. The gift of allowing them to experience the bliss of being useful and sharing their wisdom and knowledge.”

What Holds People Back

The reason why many people hold back from asking for help is fear. They think they will be dismissed or told “no”.

Being told “no” doesn’t need to be dreadful. We don’t need to create a negative story in our mind about it and make it about us.

It might be that the individual we decided to ask for help, didn’t have the resources to help us. It’s ideal to acknowledge the “no” as simply the outcome to our solicitation, not a nullification of ourselves. A “no” lets us know not to burn through any more time and energy asking this specific individual, and aides us closer to somebody who will say “yes.”

Some compare being open to help, as being powerless, yet requesting help takes mindfulness and boldness. It’s essential to know where our qualities lie and where they don’t. 

“When someone denies helping you, it’s a poor reflection on them, not on you for being vulnerable and mature enough to ask.”

Be Sure, Be Precise

One of the primary traps that individuals fall into when they approach the Universe for something is that they are not 100% sure what they need and why.

They make statements like ‘I need to be rich’ or ‘I need to discover love’, yet until you iron out those thoughts, they are not getting down to business as powerful demands.

Give your emotions a chance to direct you in choosing what it is you need. I can request to win the lottery, yet I don’t generally comprehend without a doubt how that would improve my life. Be specific with why you want something. Know the purpose behind what you are asking for. Maybe you want to win the lottery so you can start a charity to help the homeless learn new skills and give them a second chance at life? You’ll have a better shot asking wealthy people to fund such an initiative. Know why you are asking for help, and who to ask.

“Know the purpose for your need for help and who to ask. Both have to align to receive the support you need.”

Make it a Practice

Most serious issues need a network of individuals to solve them. People must be open to requesting help. There are such a large number of fields, and a lot of information out there for anybody to know everything.

Individuals are ready to offer help whenever requested. You need to vocalize your needs. In the event that you can do that, you’ll see the distinction in your initiative.

People are inclined to need to assist those who’ve tried to help themselves. Let the person you want the help from know what you’ve tried so far. You are more likely to get help if you can show a personal commitment towards the goal you need help with, by sharing the efforts you’ve already made.

It’s no fun for the giver when you help someone and they don’t follow through. After you receive the help, be sure to act on the help or recommendations offered.

“The surest way to receive help is to practice gratitude. That’s shown in your actions and willingness to put the help offered into practice.”

The Benefits of Asking for Help

When you ask for help, you gain the capacity to push ahead. As opposed to staying “stuck,” you can learn how to move forward. 

Can you remember a time when you hesitated to ask for help? 

Odds are you felt a specific level of pressure related to the challenge you were in. 

You weren’t being as productive as you needed to be. You may have felt silly in not being certain about what steps to take next. Not trusting you could request help, may have powered side effects of nervousness. That is, until you requested the help and discovered how much time you wasted being in your head about things that could have been resolved by practicing a little bit of vulnerability.

By asking for help you gain the chance to team up and be in relationship with others. Looking for help and advice offers somebody the chance to share their gifts with you. While not every person can say “yes,” individuals with wisdom to offer, usually feel good about the request you put forward because it implies you appreciate what they have to offer enough to ask.

You gain the chance to learn. They gain the chance to give. Focus on who is happy to help, and what they are eager to do for you. While you are receiving the help be sure to take notes so you don’t need to ask for the same help twice; that would show a lack of respect for the gift of the help being offered.

Accept that you will get the help you look for. Keep in mind that as we travel through life, and as our objectives advance, the individuals that we need around us will likewise evolve. The individuals you required around you as mentors or coaches 5 years ago, or even a year back, are likely not to be the same of what you need now.

Search out those that have accomplished what you are attempting to do or have tackled the issue you need help with. To get to the next level of your aspirations, you’ll need to ask help from those who have already reach that level.

“Every time you reach your next level of life, you’ll see that it was another step on a very long journey. There is always a next level. The benefit of asking for help, eases the journey.”

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