Choose Purpose over Passion to Be Happy

by Oct 10, 2022

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I started my professional career on Sept 9th, 1989, at MCI Telecom. I worked the graveyard shift in a network operations center (NOC). I learned everything you can learn about data and was fortunate that during my nine-year tenure to work with luminaries like Vint Cerf the father of the Internet.

After a rather nonstop career for 27 years, I decided to give myself some time to be totally present for the arrival of my new daughter by taking a long deserved and needed break in the fall of 2016.

I lived in Brentwood, Los Angeles at the time, and living there isn’t cheap. One of the companies I took from Series A to Series B got acquired for close to $200MM, which made it more financially feasible to take a break.

Some could argue that this wasn’t much of a break, since I also went on to be the co-founder of a services company that ended up growing rather rapidly. I didn’t go into any of my initiatives with any sense of urgency or stress. Taking a break to me, meant refocusing my energy and time towards my family.

Taking this so call break paid off in many ways, but what I reconnected to during my little sabbatical was and still is priceless.

“You must have a higher purpose mission in your life, for your life to be truly fulfilling”

What is a higher purpose mission?

A higher purpose mission is different for everyone, and it’s really no one’s place to judge what yours should or should not be. You figure out what it is by first understanding what you are good at, and second by understanding what you are passionate about that isn’t just about you.

I am talking about purpose.

“Purpose is the reason why we exist beyond the needs of our five senses.”

Passion -vs- Purpose

Many confuse purpose with passion. You can be passionate about many things, and most of them are going to be about your five senses. There is nothing wrong with that

Purpose is about your legacy, a legacy that impacts others. It’s about fulfilling something greater than yourself. It is about your calling in life, it’s not just what you are willing to die doing, but what you live for.

There are some things I’ve become good at in my life, one of which is being an exceptional father. When it comes to fathering, I can tap into an endless supply of being in service, and compassion, patience, loving discipline, encouragement, and empowerment.

I can’t historically say the same about being a husband, it’s not been easy for me being a husband, and I have the expense of multiple divorces to prove it.

Worth mentioning is also how incredibly expensive it can be not being good at something.

I finally figured out how to transfer the fathering skills into being a good husband too. It took me a while, but I got here. As it turns out being of service, compassionate, patient, loving, encouraging, and empowering works with every single relationship in life; it’s a proven formula.

Over the years I’ve become exceptionally good at leading people to believe they can accomplish more, and I am generally able to enroll people to do more and grow as professionals and individuals as a result.

I’ve done this both professionally, and as a volunteer coach inspiring leaders in an organization devoted to improving the lives of men and their families, and communities they serve.

My volunteer work is what motivated me to become a certified life coach, and extend my work of empowering others on my podcast Rant & Grow.

My single greatest source of joy in life is when I see and hear from someone, I took under my wings sort of speak, years ago, become a C level executive, having a family, and contributing values to society. It makes me feel like I am living a life worth living.

What I connected to during my break, through some introspection, and with the wisdom of close friends and mentors is that the context I embody when being a father, serves not only my children, but serves me well as a man, as a husband, as a business leader.

By staying in a context of service and compassion, patience, discipline, encouragement, and empowerment as I do with my children, I become an awesome husband to my wife and an even better leader in my community and in my career.

Who knew that raising children would bring out the best of me, and that I could apply this into every aspect of my life!

Redefine what Success Is

For a long time, I believed my mission and definition of success was to build businesses — I’ve done that seven times, and after my little sabbatical I was so ready and fired up to do it again in an even bigger way.

My definition of success has changed. It’s no longer tied to outcomes; it is tied to a growth mindset.

Learning new things, failing, and growing from the experiences, discovering more aspects of how to be a better human being is what I consider the definition of success today.

I found my tribe, my home, my calling within Nearsoft, which was an amazing company that believed in freedom and equivalence and above all treated people with human dignity. The core company values aligned with who I am at my core — someone who believes people should aspire to fulfill their calling in life.

I don’t think I would have finished my to be published third book (Emotionally Aware Leadership), had it not been for the encouragement I received from the people I worked with. I don’t think

“You have to surround yourself with people who share similar purpose as you do, and above all people who encourage you and believe in you.”

My higher purpose mission in life is to be a source of empowerment. I believe humanity suffers from a dreadful virus, a disease, a silent killer of dreams and hope.

Low self-worth is a worldwide epidemic.

It is my purpose and mission to provide as many people as I can reach the elixir to the self-worth roller coaster ride.

Someone recently asked me what do you think your best qualities are as a professional? I simply answered, to help people believe they are awesome.

My higher purpose mission is to empower everyone I encounter to step into their own awesomeness.

The canvas of my mission is not just my children, it is my wife, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, my book readers, and all those I encounter, maybe even you reading this post.

What is your higher purpose mission in life?




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