Want to be Happy? Choose Purpose over Passion

by Apr 22, 2019

September has always been a special month to me, a month of new beginnings. While the 11th of September is filled with ill history, especially since I was there in NYC on that dreadful day and saw it all with my own eyes, the meaning on 9/11 changed for me many years later, when my daughter Livia was born in 2016 to remind me of what truly matters in life.

I started my professional career on Sept 9th, 1989 at MCI Telecom. I worked the graveyard shift in a network operations center (NOC). I learned everything you can learn about data and was lucky during my nine-year tenure to work with luminaries like Vint Cerf the father of TCP/IP.

After a rather nonstop career for 27 years, I decided to give myself some time to be totally present for the arrival of my new daughter by taking a long deserved and needed break. I live in Brentwood, Los Angeles, and living here isn’t cheap. One of the companies I took from Series A to Series B got acquired for close to $200MM, which made it more financially feasible to take a break.

Some could argue that this wasn’t much of a break, since I also went on to be the co-founder of a services company that ended up growing rather rapidly. I didn’t go into any of my initiatives with any sense of urgency or stress. Taking a break to me, meant refocusing my energy and time towards my family.

Taking this so call break paid off in many ways, but what I reconnected to during my little sabbatical was and still is priceless.

“You must have a higher purpose mission in your life, for your life to be truly fulfilling”

What is a higher purpose mission? A higher purpose mission is different for everyone, and it’s really no one’s place to judge what yours should or should not be. You figure out what it is by first understanding what you are really good at, and second by understanding what you are passionate about that isn’t just about you.

I am talking about purpose. The reason why we exist beyond the needs of our five senses.

Passion -vs- Purpose

Many confuse purpose with passion. You can be passionate about many things, and most of them are going to be about your five senses. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact focusing on yourself is not only healthy but it’s the only way you can care about others too as I mentioned in a previous blog.

Purpose is about your legacy, a legacy that impacts others, it’s about fulfilling something greater than yourself, it is about your calling in life, it’s not just what you are willing to die doing, but what you live for.

There are some things I’ve become really good at in my life, one of which is being an exceptional father. When it comes to fathering, I am able to tap into an endless supply of being in service, and compassion, patience, loving discipline, encouragement and empowerment.

I can’t historically say the same about being a husband, it’s not been easy for me being a husband, and I have the expense of multiple divorces to prove it, worth mentioning is also how incredibly expensive it can be not being good at something.

That being said, I finally figured out how to transfer the fathering skills into being a good husband too. It took me a while, but I got here. As it turns out being of service, compassionate, patient, loving, encouraging, and empowering works with every single relationship in life; it’s a proven formula.

Over the years I’ve become exceptionally good at leading people to believe they can accomplish more, and I am generally able to enroll people to do more and grow as professionals and individuals as a result. I’ve done this both professionally, and as a volunteer coaching and inspiring leaders in an organization devoted to improving the lives of men and their families, and communities they serve.

My volunteer work is what motivated me to become a certified life coach, and extend my work of empowering others on my podcast Rant & Grow. Season one just ended by the way, so if you want to be a guest on season two…. contact me.

My single greatest source of joy in life is when I see and hear from someone, I took under my wings sort of speak, years ago, become a C level executive, having a family, and contributing values to society. It makes me feel like I am living a life worth living.

What I connected to during my break, through some introspection, and with the wisdom of close friends and mentors is that the context I embody when being a father serves not only my children, but serves me well as a man, as a husband, as a business leader.

By staying in a context of service and compassion, patience, discipline, encouragement and empowerment as I do with my children, I become an awesome husband to my wife and an even better leader in my community and in my career.

Who knew that raising children would bring out the best of me, and that I could apply this into every aspect of my life?

For a long time, I believed my mission and definition of success was to build businesses — I’ve done that seven times, and after my little sabbatical I was so ready and fired up to do it again in an even bigger way.

However, my definition of success has changed. It’s no longer tied to outcomes; it is tied to a growth mindset. Learning new things, failing and growing from the experiences, discovering more aspects of how to be a better human being is what I consider the definition of success today.

I found my tribe, my home, my calling within Nearsoft, which is an amazing company that believes in freedom and equivalence and above all treats people with human dignity. The core company values align with who I am at my core — someone who believes people should aspire to fulfill their calling in life.

I don’t think I would have finished my to be published third book (Emotionally Aware Leadership), had it not been for the encouragement I received from the people I work with. I don’t think I would be part of the social rights movement of the 21st century, had it not been for the people I work with.

“You have to surround yourself with people who share similar purpose as you do, and above all people who encourage you and believe in you.”

My higher purpose mission in life is to be a source of empowerment. I believe humanity suffers from a dreadful virus, a disease, a silent killer of dreams and hope. Low self-worth is an epidemic. It is my purpose and mission to provide as many people as I can reach the elixir to the self-worth roller coaster ride.

Someone recently asked me what do you think your best qualities as a professional are? I simply answered, to help people believe they are awesome.

My higher purpose mission is to empower everyone I come in contact with to step into their own awesomeness. The canvas of my mission is not just my children, it is my wife, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, my book readers, and all those I come in contact with, maybe even you reading this post.

What is your higher purpose mission in life?

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